Irony
by RedcurrantSmoothie
Summary: "I wasn't supposed to get powers. I'm the leader of the Human Crew, for God's sake. That means the crew for normals, not freaks! But that's what I am now.  A freak. A moof. A chud!"  Zil gets powers. And he isn't happy. Slight Zil/Lance.
1. An unpleasant surprise

**So I just finished LIES and I was thinking, what if Zil got powers? And that was the inspiration for the fic that you are about to read.**

**Disclaimer- Unfortunately, I don't own GONE no matter how much I want to! Fortunately, I don't own Zil and I don't think I'll ever want to.**

I wasn't supposed to get powers. I'm the leader of the _Human Crew_, for God's sake. That means the crew for normals, not freaks! But that's what I am now. A freak. A moof. A chud.

I spend all my time preaching to people about how much I hate freaks, protesting against them, making sure that the normals would one day overcome the freaks. And now I've turned into one of them. An unnatural freak of nature.

If I was to get any powers, I'd have hoped for something useful. Maybe not something quite as flashy as Sam's, or unnoticeable like Diana's, and definitely not as disturbing as Orc's! I probably have the worst power known to man. I don't see how it can help me in fights or use it to my own benefit.

For you see, my power is to tie shoelaces with my mind. That's it. Tying shoelaces. Not even growing shoelaces so they can strangle people, or being able to shoot shoelaces or even morphing into shoelaces, but tying them. Tying shoelaces! That's my power. What kind of crappy power is that?

The freaks are having one of their freak meeting, discussing their powers. How embarrassing it would be for me with my dumb power. I can see it now

"I can shoot killer light rays from my hand!"

"Well I can run faster than a speeding bullet."

"Hah! I move objects with my mind."

"Hey what do you do, Zil?"

"I tie shoelaces with my mind."

I'm mortified just thinking about it.

I discovered my powers this morning when I was getting ready to go out with Lance. Well not go out with him, go out with him, but out with him and Lisa and Turk and some other normals. I'd overslept and I'd completely forgotten about my meeting with the Human Crew. Astrid had made it a law that everybody must be treated equally, but as if we were going to stop because of _that. _We weren't actually going to hurt anybody. We'd tried that and it failed.

Anyway, I was in a hurry to get ready and I couldn't find my usual trainers, the ones with Velcro instead of laces, so I had to make do with a pair of some old lace up ones. I wasn't entirely sure who they belonged to, but they fitted me. Lance -the handsome, tall and dreamy Lance- was yelling at me to hurry up. Unfortunately, the laces on my shoes were awkward to tie up. They were old and fraying at the ends, not to mention how short they were! Lance kept shouting at me, and I didn't want to be made a fool of by such a popular guy, and I was angry and I just wished that the shoelaces would tie themselves. And then, just like that, they were tied.

Just like that.

I wanted to try my power out on other shoes, just to check it wasn't my imagination but of course, I had no time. I had to quickly sprint out the door to catch up with Lance, who had decided to go off without me.

I just hope that he didn't see it happen. Because if he did, I'm screwed. Especially because I'm on my way for a meeting with the Human crew. Who won't be very happy if their leader of their anti freak club happens to be a freak himself.

I have a feeling that this won't end well.

**So, what did you think of my first ever GONE fanfic? Should I continue or just leave it as it is?**

**Reviews and you'll get the pride of knowing that you reviewed.**


	2. Grave expectations

**Sorry for the delay in updates! I've been quite busy this week, and I haven't been home a lot. **

**Disclaimer- Because Michael Grant writes fan fiction about his own book. Yeah, **_**totally.**_

This is such a bad idea, running a Human Crew meeting when I'm barely human myself. I tried to get out of it, but Lance talked me into going. Handsome Lance. Tall Lance. Athletic Lance. Lance was probably the only person who could talk me into doing this. I'm definitely going to regret this later.

Luckily, my power isn't one you would guess. I should be thankful that my power isn't anything like turning my hair purple when I feel rage, or growing 50 feet every four seconds. Tying shoelaces with your mind isn't exactly a one you'd notice or expect.

I heard the other members of the Human Crew before I saw them. Turk was yapping on about how great I am and how all freaks must die, as usual. Most of the time I tolerate his ramblings, but I dread to think what he'd say if he found out that his beloved leader was a freak himself.

"Hey look, Zil's here." Lisa groaned, rolling her eyes. Sometimes I wondered why she was even in the Human Crew when all she did was moan. A few weeks ago, she even considered stopping it all.

"We would have been here sooner, but he was busy tying his shoelaces." Lance smirked. That should have soothed me, usually the sound of his voice did, but I couldn't help but wonder if he genuinely thought I was tying shoelaces or whether he was just covering for me.

"Tying shoelaces? Really, Zil?" Lisa said dryly. Some girlfriend she was.

"Yeah…" I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. How was I supposed to tell them that I'm a freak?

"So are we going to start this meeting or what?"

"Yeah, start the meeting!" Turk proclaimed, punching the air with his fist. His enthusiasm scared me a bit. Well, at least somebody enjoyed these meetings.

"Yes, let's start this meeting of the mighty Human Crew!" I paused, waiting for any reaction from the small amount of people before me. There was none, except a large applause from Turk. I don't think the groan from Lisa counted. "So, the plan to burn down the town didn't go _quite _as we'd planned."

"You can say that again!" Yelled a voice. I wasn't sure who said it, though it was probably Lisa.

"As I was saying, it didn't go as we'd planned. Instead of causing terror and panic, Sam and his freaks managed to stop it. " I omitted to mention that Sam wasn't even there. "Not only that, but they seemed to have forgotten about it and carry on as normal!"

"I think we all know that," came the voice again

"Who keeps interrupting me?" I questioned angrily.

"Yeah, don't interrupt Zil!" Turk enthused.

I waited for an answer, but nobody owned up. I didn't think anybody would. They know that I'm not like Drake or Caine, I wouldn't throw them into a wall or whip them to get them to own up or to punish them for wronging me.

"Thank you, Turk. As I was saying, the freaks fare to act like us normals don't exist! They treat us as if we are just invisible to them! Well I have news for them, normals are still the majority here. We outnumber the freaks by a long shot, so how come we are the ones getting ignored?" I said passionately. My mini speech, despite the fact it wasn't even finished, attracted many responses from the people there.

"It's 'cause they have powers, they think they can do whatever they want!"

"They think they're all that just because they have powers. But really, they're just mutant freaks of nature! They shouldn't even _exist!_"

"They think having powers means you're all high and mighty and automatically better than us normals when really they're just abnormal freaks!"

"It should be us ruling them, not the other way around! Why should us normal folk be treated like dirt by some grotesque mutations?"

Their responses made me wonder what gruesome punishment would await me if my secret became uncovered. Would they chase after me until I was cornered so they can hit me with their aluminium baseball bats? Would they try and push me off the cliff? Or perhaps hang me in the church with the whole town pulling on the rope like we tried to do to Hunter? I dread to think.

Not only that, but what would the other freaks think? I was Zil, Leader of the Human Crew, not hiding my hatred for freaks. I constantly proclaimed that it should be normals ruling Perdido Beach and that the freaks were lowly scum and should be tossed aside, like gum on the bottom of your shoe. Everybody with eyes could see that I had a loathing for the freaks. But of course, now that I am a freak I'd have to join them. Would they let me? I doubt they'd even believe me, think I'm just fooling around, mocking them. If they did believe me, they'd just laugh in my face at my useless power and say how ironic it is for the number one freak despiser has became one.

I bring myself to answer, despite the terror their answers brought to me. "You're right, all of you. It should be normals ruling, not the freaks! We have been around for way longer, so why should we give in to the intruders who flaunt their abilities and expect us to love and worship them? No, we shouldn't. We need to fight for what is right! And what better way to do so by taking down Sam!" I rage, punching the air with my fist. If this were any other day I'd have felt pleased with my performance. But this isn't any other day, this is the day I became a freak. Here I am, talking about taking down Sam when I'm secretly one of his kind.

Again, I was applauded for my words and the crowd were eager to join in my ramblings.

"Yeah, those worthless freaks just think they can do whatever they want and expect us to clean up afterwards!"

"They do nothing but show off their powers, especially that Brianna girl, expecting us to call her the Breeze like she's some sort of superhero. Real superheroes are modest about their powers and don't show off like a spoiled brat!"

"They're vulgar! Despicable! Worthless!"

"They expect us to do everything while they do nothing and look cool!"

I don't think that now would be a good time to tell them my secret. I also don't mention that the freaks don't sit around and do nothing, they've saved us on many occasions.

No.

What's happening to me?

Am I starting to _agree _with the freaks?

Oh no.

I'm turning into one of them.

**I've actually forgotten who's on the Human Crew, aside from Zil, Lisa, Lance and Turk. I know that Hank died, and I think Antoine did too, but I've had a mind blank and forgotten if there was any more. I don't have my own copy of LIES so I can't check! That's why not many names have been mentioned.**

**Reviews are loved :)**


	3. Nightmare

**I must admit, I'd completely forgotten about this fic. Oh well.**

**Disclaimer: I am currently talking on MSN, not writing FEAR. No, I'm not Michael Grant.**

This was going disastrously. Everyone was so hell-bent on eradicating the mutants that I dreaded to think what they would do to me if my secret was revealed. Would they hunt me down? Would they kill me? Exile me? I doubted they'd go easy on me, even if I was the most anti-freak person there was.

But, I having powers didn't make me a bad person, did it? I'm still the same person I was last night, the same person I always have been. It's not like I've used my powers for selfish reasons, or to hurt anyone. I don't show mine off, or use them to strike fear into people. Unlike Sam, who finds any excuse to go all laser-hands on everyone. He even makes these little balls of light for people! Granted, we'd be sitting in the dark otherwise, but he shouldn't be showing off like that. Anyway, nobody even likes them because they're green, and they just remind us of his abnormality. The weirdness of our situation.

My followers were still yelling insults, still ranting on. These meetings never really had much order to them. I looked to Lance, who was staring intently at me, as if he was trying to figure something out.

I looked around, then back to him. He was still looking at me. I mean, I know I'm attractive and everything, but did he have to keep looking at me? There wasn't any food on my face or in my teeth- nobody would waste food like that-, and my t-shirt wasn't inside out or anything.

"Why are you staring at me?" I grunted.

"No reason," Lance said quickly, looking away.

I wondered what was up with him.

"Zil!" called out someone.

"What?" I said bitterly, though inside I was paranoid and a bit frightened, not that I would ever tell anybody. I really needed to stop worrying; how could anybody have found out? The only person possible of knowing was Lance, and he hadn't had the chance to tell anyone.

"These meetings are so BORING! All we do is rant about how much we hate freaks and how they should be punished, but we never actually _do_ anything about it," the person said, stepping forward. She was a girl, about thirteen, with auburn hair, tied in a plait. She had a large, pale scar running down her left cheek that I didn't want to ask about. In her hand she was clutching a small metal pipe. Nobody ever left without a weapon, not any more.

I hated to admit it, but she was right. There wasn't any point to these 'meetings'. We talked about destroying freaks, but that was it. If someone had the power to talk someone to death, there would be no freaks left. These meetings had as much point as an alcoholic going to one of those 'alcoholics anonymous' meetings, but going out and getting drunk afterwards. He might as well have not gone to the meeting.

"You're absolutely right, Monica," I said, suddenly remembering her name. "We need to go out and TEACH THOSE FREAKS A LESSON! Who's with me?"

Everyone cheered 'YEAH!' in unison. All was going well so far.

"We need to go up to Sam right no-" I began, but then was interrupted by moans. Okay, maybe I was going a bit too far. There was no way we could take on Sam; he would obliterate us instantly. "Okay, not Sam. What about that wimp, Jack?"

People seemed happier than that.

"Right! Let's go!"

Everyone cheered and started to follow me out of the car park, that didn't actually have any cars in as cars didn't work any more (no gas). I didn't admit that I had no clue where Jack lived.

"Wait one second," Lance snarled, loud enough for everyone to hear. I stopped dead, then cautiously turned around. He had an evil look in his eye, and I was very concerned, worried, that he knew something...

"I need to tie my shoelace," he said, with mock innocence. I looked down, and his laces were indeed undone. "You'll have to wait for me to do them before you can go off on your little freak hunt."

Lance bent down, and began to fumble about with his white, frayed laces. The laces had almost came completely in the shoe, and the ends were so frayed that they wouldn't even fit in the little hole on the side. Lance occasionally kept muttering curses, and how he hated his laces, and that shoes would just tie themselves.

Honestly.

How many fourteen year olds couldn't tie their shoes? It was ridiculous. Why did we have to wait for him to tie his stupid shoes? He was a fast runner, he could easily catch us up. Ugh. I wish he would hurry up and tie his goddamn shoes—

Oh no.

I looked at Lance's shoes. They were tied, with huge loopy bows. And wearing the shoes was a very unhappy blond.

"Well, well, well, my shoes are all tied," Lance sneered, folding his arms. "The funny thing is, I don't even remember tying them. Frank, do you?" Lance asked the small ginger boy next to him. He shook his head nervously. "Interesting. It was almost like they tied by themselves, like magic, like a _freak _had done it."

I gulped.

"Now I know for sure that I'm not a freak, and everyone else here isn't a freak..."

Oh no.

"I swear I'm not a freak! I don't have the power to tie shoelaces with my mind, and that is NOT what I did this morning," I panicked.

Oh shoot.

"It's funny, I never mentioned anything about this morning, or you having that particular power."

No, no, no. A million times no...

"HE'S A FREAK! GET HIM!"

I've never ran faster.


End file.
